I won't lie, I could not stop laughing at some of these.

The UK is renowned for its brutal sense of humour (especially in the workplace) and also love of nicknames.

Some nicknames spout from absolutely nowhere and will stick with you for life. Others, however, are nothing short of absolute genius.

A Reddit thread was discussing the funniest nicknames of all time and one comment had me howling.

It said: "There's a funny item on Johnny Vaughan's radio show where people write in with these. My fave was a bloke called Spider... because he once went shopping and came back with 4 pairs of jeans!"

After traipsing through (some pretty dark) corners of the internet, we've taken the liberty of drawing up our favourite nicknames - be warned, they're hilarious:

The funniest (and perhaps harshest) nicknames of all time

Soup - "Favourite from the JV (Johnny Vaughan) show was the two fellas called Stewart and his brother 'Soup'. Why 'Soup'? Because he's not as thick as Stew."

The Exorcist - "Best one I've heard was a guy called the exorcist because he'd turn up drink all the spirits then leave."

One size - "The footballer Fitz Hall had the nickname"

Pringle Thief - "A lad in the navy lost his two smaller fingers on one hand in an accident."

36 - "His surname was Twelvetrees"

Milkman - "None of his kids looked like him."

"Lad named Keith lost an eye to ocular cancer. He is now known as Keth"

Shrub - "We had a manager who was short and his first name was Forest".

Dial-up - "He was just super slow at everything".

Viper - "Worked with a "Viper" that was missing 4 top front teeth."

The Painter - "Worked with a Mexican fella who we all called The Painter because he wore two coats during the winter."

The Terminator - "Found out I was referred to as The Terminator in college because when I walked into the canteen I would pause and scan the room for my friends."

Elevenarife - "Knew a lad who was called elevenarife. He is a story topper and if you went to Tenerife he went to elevenarife."

Milcasa - "Knew a Spanish guy who looked like Milhouse from The Simpsons, and so he was nicknamed Milcasa."

Keth - "Lad named Keith lost an eye to ocular cancer. He is now known as Keth."

Shetland Tony - "Lad on site called Anthony, he was only 5’2 so his name was Shetland tony hahahahaha".

Rex - "Was told by a work colleague about a local guy where he was from who was born with short arms, his nickname was Rex."

Socketman - "An electrician that worked at our house looked like Elton John his crew called him socketman."

Snipers Nightmare - "Guy on site walked with a bad limp."

Repeat - "Had a cousin called Repeat, because he was the spitting image of his father, Pete."

Panther - "I knew a bloke years ago his nickname was panther because he had asthma."

ManBat - "A fella at work gets called Manbat because his name is Wayne Bruce."