LAST week my oldest friend visited us. I have known Jim since I was seven years old at primary school. We went to the same secondary school and when I went to London, to seek my fortune (failed), Jim joined me. I later decided to do further study and came to Leeds, while Jim stayed in London and became an accountant. Jim was my Best Man when I married June and is Godfather to our two children. He and his wife have been willing hosts when visiting London, which has forged friendships between us and Jim’s wider family. It’s funny, but we rarely speak on the phone, never over social media and see each other only once or twice a year. So, while we have a lot of shared history, what is it that makes us ‘friends’?

Friendship is freely given trust and a commitment to act in the best interests of each other, each wishing the best for the other, which is love. Friendships have no obligations or rules. Knowing that I can depend on Jim’s support and help when things get tough is a source of great comfort. When I make a mess of things I know there will be someone to tell me and help put me right. Aside from just catching up, as much fun as that is, we call on friends when we need help and support; help in searching for a solution to our problem and support in dealing with it. The presence of a friend walking alongside us boosts our confidence, not only in dealing with our problems, but also with our lives.

I have another friend I see every week. How we became friends is a story for another day, but he is one in whom I have complete trust as one who always wishes the best for me. I know that in time of need I have only to knock and his door will be opened to me, to ask and he will help me. His help may not always be in the form I thought I wanted but it is always what I needed. The relationship of friends is based on love. It’s no wonder that one of the great enduring Christian hymns is “What a friend we have in Jesus”.